Heads up, Las Vegans- there will be many black employees on your new Raiders team, too- fair warning. 

In the states we say “may get found” as in, New Getfoundland

He who flouts the long, denim arm of the law does so at his own peril! #teammounties

Only 740 satellites until Mongolian herders can watch porn on the Steppe.

You’ll earn your flop on this side of the pond.

Elephant guns are single shot, and they know they may get rushed when they reload which is the only reason they don’t.

How soon before Obria starts popping placebos in the mail under a new dummy corp.?

That’s the play, thank you

Just no marathon—or half marathon—stickers on the back bumper, please.

That’s how I turn off my alarm too.

Lemme guess- you read that on FB

There are plenty of other, smarter senior citizens out there who would disagree with you.

You’re one syllable over—and one weather observance under—haiku wise. But I like where your head’s at.

Hmmm- isn’t the forget-me-knot how one ties a noose?

“Guaranteed odds”- I like the sound of that.

White Christians are an effective bloc in our broken, antiquated system of governance- it’s true. But I think it’s too far a stretch to say there was some sort of liberal coup in the majority white Commonwealth; it’s just that are many, many more backwards shitheads here in the ‘States.

Looks like there’s a slight stumble Tucker saves by leaping headlong? Pretty cool, either way.

“very nearly” belongs in which column, again? I forget

Instead of blowing on embers, let’s put a pillow over its collective face and maybe then it will go away

Nunes claims that because of Twitter, he has “endured an orchestrated defamation campaign of stunning breadth and scope, one that no human being should ever have to bear and suffer in their whole life.”