♫♪’scuse me, while I kiss the floor- buh duh duh, buh duh duh wow now♫♪*

Two buck Chuck is for everyone, my elitist friend- Trader Joe’s reaches across the aisle on the daily, and should be lauded for doing so. Addicted livers don’t recognize gerrymandered borders.

Really- the other party should simply stop eating. Really. Enjoy Hannah and her four sisters, Mr. Gilooly.

Ah- it’s not about superiority, my fat friend.

You are a victim. Does that feel accurate?

Your comment history is suspect at best, but I’ll wade in anyway: it may take a second to realize an emperor has no clothes. Unintentional Harvey Weinstein joke aside, a hundred years of casting couch abuse is literally a metaphorical second in the fullness of time.

It is actually possible to experience close, personal loss and deal with grief with (not always successful, and often regrettable) attempts at humor. Overly pious sanctimony, especially when you’re not even remotely connected to the tragedy at hand, can be somehow—ironically?—twice as galling. Rest assured, I’ll…

This is a good subject to tease apart, compounded by those who eat faster than their table mates, especially their SOs or dates. There is a compulsion to stack one’s plates after finishing first, sort of a guilty nod to lack of self control obscured by some sort of distracting stab at efficiency, which in turn…

$130K?!? She got ripped off—if he even paid. Talk about “stiffing” the contractor!

I think a small part of him has always thought that he’s actually (janitor) closeted genius Will Hunting. Fucking actors, man

Got a problem with Madison Avenue, buddy?

Chronicles of Prydain or GTFO

Edited because stupid and boring

Hmmm....Kinda looks and sounds like the bad guy from The 5th Element fronting a Chris Isaak cover band.

We are desperate, and the bench is both shallow and —according to some—suspect.

One lazy, the other crazy.

Pictured: good old fashioned flirting a lâ Deneuve

Let’s all just calm down and stick with Chicken Kiev the way mother used to make:

Hey if we can’t have Michelle...

Ya gotta feel it, first- nōm-sān? Wouldn’t want to be insincere.