Your missing the point entirely- that soupçon of Portuguese frizzant is meant to elate, not just escape to. But I hear you.

Prove it, fuckface

The fickle finger of fate and the bras d’honneur? Thank god for the Times Square day job.

Probably made him over analyze the whole thing out loud; very annoying, says my ex-wife

Manchurian candidates: activate! Proceed to nearest Vnesheconombank ATM, vait for instruction

Sounds like it was 14 on 1 (in the MAGA beanie)- may this trend sustain through 2018 and beyond

Some of us would do anything to get out of the house— and that’s exactly how it would end for me too, like Homer melting backwards into the hedge

I would not wear that, were I a dame,

She’s better looking than 60% of her siblings, for now, but someday Barron will grow into his Slavic cheekbones, his eyes will just smolder, and Tiffany’s downfall will be complete.

Counterpoint: a very highly anticipated Wonder Woman comes out in a few days, and that should appease Ms. Chastain and her uppity acolytes for the next 20 years or so.

That dopey-eyed mugshot- let’s just go with “Florida face” and call it good.

Well, if they get too fucked up while they’re ashore, you know you can just put them in the longboat until they’re sober, put them in the longboat until their sober, put them in the longboat until they’re sober earl•ī in the mornin’

I truly regret reading this post.

Hydra’s.

You, me and Emmanuel Macron.

This tacit endorsement of discrimination with my tax dollars is unacceptable- I call for her resignation.

Whatever

It’s good to be the king!

That haircut, probably.

(As long as we’re still doing Chris Cornell- and yes it was shocking, still, wasn’t it? Very sad) Good Audioslave song from a pretty good Michael Mann movie Collateral. I mean, it wasn’t Heat, but Tom Cruise played a pretty cool bad guy, and they put the song in the right place in the film. Maybe they know what…