Tough decision. His heart is between a rock and a hard place.

“It comes down to parenting and raising a smart kid. It’s always come down to that.”

Nice to have an Email of the Week that is verbal diarrhea instead of the traditional kind.

this will go down smoothly with my lady doritos.

You are so welcome!

My thought exactly. As in, no, no, no, no: do not clean your star with some little tissue with your bare hands!

So is Phoenix.

The horse-talking person has all the mental faculties of a horse in a person’s body (and vice versa).

I mean, Catholic lady up there spent her morning at Mass praying and look where it got her.

That is exactly the line that made me gag. What does it mean? A thrilling truth? WHAT THE FUCK DOES THAT MEAN?

I really enjoy the portrait of Obama; the colors are so vibrant and as a result the man himself comes off with the kind of inherent warmth that we know he exudes in real life but that a serious portrait would likely fail to capture. By painting him with a very serious expression against a background of vibrant green…

BUT DOES THE BABY LIKE SEX ALREADY OR NO

Edit: I am dumb and posted this here instead of the thread dedicated to Tonga guy, but the point stands just for the still photo

Prediction: Pita will be disqualified from the Games after he tests positive for IcyHot.

Thanks Jim Tomsula.

Per the US Weekly article: Fans have been convince that the name Stormi was inspired by the living creatures <butterflies>. “‘Stormi’ is short for Storm. A storm can be caused by a minute localized change in a complex system. That’s known as the butterfly effect. Butterfly in Spanish is Mariposa…”

This might be the best advice I’ve ever read online.

Still better than Roy Moore.

Q: How do you know the the pony and dog are sad it lost its eye?