Everyone will want to adopt this dog once they realize that every time he opens his mouth a Pez candy comes out.

Looks just like Milo in THE MASK after he puts the mask on

I bet it could fuck up a rhino.

when I say bless it, I'm going to be thinking Fuck It real loud in my head!

LOL! That's so funny to me your daughter dislikes you swearing! Maybe it's because it's Navy swearing and not like, Taylor Swift/millennial swearing? Giving up F-bombs for Lent would be so, so hard. But imagine the freedom afterwards when you get to be like:

Can you tell me what part of Phoenix is NOT in Maricopa County? Nice try though.

That kitten is definitely going to eat a duck. Just give it time.

Tell me about it. I worked at MTV at conception and left before Real World was even an idea. The only reason I know about any of the usual suspects is from Midweek Madness and some gossip. I didn't even watch Friends it seemed immature to me!

Yeah, I'm so old, I watched MTV when they showed videos back in the 80's and Real World was still novel in the early 90's. I've caught nothing on his IMDB page, I'm so out of his demographic. (Clearly I'm a poor consumer of TV entertainment, since I've seen nothing of his father's work, either.) It's a sad day…

The typical response here - EXACTLY what one expects from a bunch of privlieged, "enlightened" fucks who have never earned anything in their lives. Tom Benson built the team, owns the team, and can damn well do as he pleases with it. His kids are pissed because the gravy train is runnig dry and they may actually…

TMZ is reporting that Bruce is filming a "documentary" about his change for E!. So I really hope that everyone demanding that he needs privacy eats their words. He never wanted privacy, he didn't want to jeopardize getting paid per usual. He's just like the rest of the family, I don't know why we keep trying to…

I never thought anything would be worse than Marchman's cereal rankings. Then Nacho Cheese Doritos made it out of the first round. Now look where we are. This is fucking ludicrous. Plain tortilla chips are in no way my favorite snack, but I voted for them because Nacho Cheese isn't even a top 5 flavor of Doritos. This…

On a serious note, I litigate trust and will contests involving issues of incapacity. There is a shocking number of people who take advantage of their elderly parents or "loved ones" weakened mental states (whether it be normal impairment from aging, actual dementia, confusion caused by medication, etc). It is…

Looks like the result may come down to a hanging chip.

Way to go, voters. You have ruined democracy.

Nacho cheese Doritos is made with the tears of tortured puppies, "contains Ricin" and is sold in illegally-deflated bags. Meanwhile, tortilla chips doesn't go to strip bars, and wants young women to know that they can be anything they imagine. Also, "Doritos" is Old Norse for "selfie."

The fact that Soylent Green was never even considered makes the results of this tournament dubious at best.

"Hmm, do I want a fried corn triangle, or a fried corn triangle blasted with Day-Glo Velveeta Silt?" — the Average Deadspin Reader, apparently

What Loomis failed to mention is that he and Benson have the same conversations.