Use firm tofu. Slice lengthwise into 4 equal parts. Set on baking sheet lined with paper towel. More paper towels on top, then another baking sheet. Weigh down with something like a couple of cans of beans or whatnot. Leave it the hell alone for half an hour. Make a marinade (can’t go wrong with BBQ sauce, apple cider…

http://www.seriouseats.com/2014/02/vegan-experience-crispy-tofu-worth-eating-recipe.html 

This is terrible news for the Celtics, because now it’ll be extra embarrassing when they lose this series anyway.

GAHHHHHHHHHHH GET IT AWAY FROM ME

Wow, this guy just can’t stop killing people. 

And people laughed at me for not dropping him from my fantasy team.

“What advantages does this war have over, say, an ethnic cleansing, which I could also afford?”

and the woman who started it all

It was later discovered that Elliott did it on a dare from Jerry Jones.

“Unfortunately, I do not have the same aptitude for the written word, but if I did I can assure you that my tale would be about the most epic love story — ours.”

reading the old bits of the bible is legitimately interesting because you learn so much about the society in question
at the time, rape is not just rape, it is also a pretty serious property crime; you have wrecked dad’s chance at ever seeing a dowry for his daughter, the accepted financial exchange for him not having…

But Josh Gordon is gonna have his career ruined because of weed.

“Designed for gamers by gamers.”

This guy definitely walks away from explosions without looking back.

“... hit a set of spike strips going 115 MPH, subsequently barreled off of the road and into a drainage ditch, launched the truck into the air and landed on a car parked at a restaurant” 

Ha ha, I know that reference!!

Having spent 7 years working in a steakhouse, I can attest that there are exactly two kinds of adults who eat steak like this:

When did this happen? Now I can’t stop seeing Uncle Shaq...