It's a plan. The summer version comes with pineapple as well.

Thanks for not kicking me off here, Pinkham. Jezebel apparently thinks Im the spawn of the devil ( yes, but it's nice when your a devil like me! ). This is the last post that doesn't condemn Black Brit humour.

Makes the meatball sandwich sign look rookie by comparison.

So does your face!

1) I will never be jealous of poutine.

But does it got lectralytes?

Every time I see something about an octopus, my brain immediately goes to Gravity's Rainbow. Which makes this story even better.

Sorry Burt

If I have to sit on a seat built for a capuchin monkey, terrified to recline it lest I get stabbed, you bet I'm wearing sweats. I'd wear a toga if I had one.

Everyone down in these comments equating a menstrual cycle with pooping, please wallow in your shame. I never thought I would see the day where I would have to explain to people why that is a ridiculous comparison and frankly I won't bother now. Also the insane amount of 'UGH WHY FEMINISTS DO DAT' rage over two…

How someone chose to view actual physical discomfort for a substance should not be minimized just because it is not a known medical issue.

Finally, something to fill my bra.

My personal favorite was the can of legumes that someone accidentally labeled "Black Bears."

I know of someone who claims she's allergic to tomatoes because they make her "tummy icky" and then she gets all melodramatic about how she might die. Normally, this is something I'd just roll my eyes and ignore it. However, she once found a tomato in the bottom of her salad. She went on and on about how allergic she…

God help me, but these stories make me feel so much better about myself.

I actually just copy-pasted your instructions and sent them to myself by email. I will pick up a bottle of Pineau des Charentes on my way home tonight and get foldin!

I see two double beds in the master bedroom in your future, at least that's what my wish is for you! Best of both worlds!

like i wanna tie all the ribbons to me and run around screaming