Cross Email Hurricane

He was my favorite character on Bachelor in Paradise this summer. 

Picture taken at the Google retreat in Sicily.

‘You need to be terrified of me, bitch' 

The lack of position data isn’t the sad part of this scenario. Though maybe we’ll be able to tell more from the nuanced data collected when the TBI/CTI studies start thin-slicing these women’s brains after death. 

And/or: Parents have the right to expose their daughters to CTE too.

My guess is that there’s both a compulsory murder charge and a degree of difficulty murder charge for each person. 

‘What #56 Just Did’ would be an amazing autobiography title. I’d read it exclusively while on the john. 

Triple Murder!? But with how many twists?

Tom Brady has 199 career rushing first downs. Are we sure it’s the least possible of the bunch?

Who the fuck said we’re all being serious here? It’s fucking Deadspin.

I was just fucking around with the self-serious, overbearing jerkoff who claims to be a comedian, not commenting on Dave’s bits. But I get why you defended the overbearing comedy jerkoff. Do you? 

Oh, I can see it now. Your mirthful nature's shining right on through. 

You should probably stay away from the comedy if you're going to take it that literally. 

You let your son play from peewee to highschool in this century, and are now claiming some kind of thoughtfulness high road? Ok. Sure.

Not to mention that naming a chonky cat ‘Tolo would be a genius. 

Now that his days on Earth are over, and his time with us has passed, I hope they bury him right side up so conservatives can stroke him off.

You clearly loved the man. I think you should go blow his corpse by way of demonstrating said affection. 

More like David Cūnt. Amirite!?

On a scale of -100B-to-10, how well do we think Rondo and Howard will get along?