Some number of years ago, in an attempt to prove how much Eli sucked I added up all his season records together. Unfortunately he was still averaging almost a 10-6 season every year at that point which really shredded my theory. Well, several completely forgettable seasons later and he’s reached the Golden Plateau: a…

Hopefully one of those is already locked into a prime-time spot (Thursday anyone?) and they can't flex 

Big Ben sucks and I'm excited to see what Maya Rudolph can do in a new role 

Miami comes to Pittsburgh end of October, you should get tickets 

Everyone knows about the 1972 Dolphins ex-players celebrating the demise of the last undefeated team every year. Far fewer have heard about the Suicide Pact they made if the Dolphins were to ever finish a season 0-16. Let’s make this happen people.

My, what a nice start to the season the NFL is having. 

Sorry to hear about your friend. This is just really depressing at this point, the evident change in personality scares me more than a physical injury or even cognitive decline. I wonder what Andrew Luck is doing right now

It was the Broncos-Panthers game to open the season after their Super Bowl matchup. Newton looked great early on and then Von Miller and co unloaded on him with the refs blatantly ignoring everything.

BillSimmons@compuserve.com

“To defeat a Doddering Old Mummy with a Skull Full of Dumpster Juice, you must send another Doddering Old Mummy with a Skull Full of Dumpster Juice”

“There were many field goals, and a safety, and Cam Newton was atrocious. There.”

Fan: Hey Trump great speech, really coherent!

Great sport. I watched it on The Ocho last week

Shine On You Crazy Stretch-4

I guess the old adage is True - put a bunch of monkeys with typewriters into a room together and eventually they'll create Fallout 76

“Dangerous Cousins”

Oooo, that’s interesting, a more strategical decision. I was thinking whoever would be most delicious (I don’t know Giri’s build) but that might be the way to go

If the Deadspin staff was trapped or marooned somewhere remote for a month, who gets eaten first? 

“That’s some good coaching right there. Although I would have had Stills kick a 43-yarder”

Like any good Russian he will be using his free time to interfere in the 2020 election