I love how anything that makes rational sense is always said to be “liberal”. Equal rights? Liberal meddling in the “perfect” existing social structure. Climate change? Liberal hoax created to destroy the American economy. Living? Liberal pipe dream.

When it comes to Boston, “At least he wasn’t screaming racial slurs at the outfielders” is the best we can hope for.

As someone who’s studied two East Asian languages and trained as a translator, I’m annoyed because I know talking about something as particular as pitching strategy and technique in a language you just started learning is really fucking difficult.

I would agree to this if MLB also agreed to outlaw the Boston accent...and Red Sox fans...and the entire franchise.

To be fair to Eric, he usually judges someone’s humanity by how they taste with a nice bearnaise sauce. So he’s a little discombobulated having to figure people out based on their words, a bit out of his element.

Krauthhammer

Maybe it’s cause I’m a life-long dirty libtard coastal elitest pinko SJW feminazi and I feel this way in general; but why should ESPN care if they’re accused of a “liberal bias”?

Who else is surprised that, of the two of them, McEnroe is not the one who became the angry, bigoted, old person yelling at kids to get off of his/her lawn?

When McEnroe first heard the news that Navratilova had announced she was gay, he was heard to yell, “OF COURSE SHE’S OUT! USE YOUR FUCKING EYES, ARE YOU BLIND? HOW COULD YOU SAY SHE WASN’T OUT WHEN SHE WAS CLEARLY OUT?!?!”

We’d never even live to see it. The combined heat of all the takes would boil the oceans and we’d all steam to death like terrestrial vertebrate shrimp.

Uh, I believe you mean the Glorious Physical Specimens League of Pyongyang there, comrade.

I hear tell that Kim Jong Un hit 2.000 for the Pyongyang Chubby Lil Bastards while playing 1-on-9 baseball when he was a youth.

A new official Marlins clipboard will be contracted out to a third party and subsidized by South Florida taxpayers.

It will go down as a foul ball, but that was almost a sack fly.

This poor bastard gets no screen or anything? Wheres OSHA when you need them?

Get out! Rocky has always been a criminally underrated mascot. I appreciate the Deadspin staff getting this right.

I wish the SF Giants would bring back the crab. There was a short 12 minute ESPN story about it which was comical. Good times.

Also, where the fuck is Stomper? That’s bullshit!