Oh yeah, we're totally insane. As you've just read here how AWESOME people are, we gotta be bat shit crazy not to want to spend all our time with humans.

To be fair, the sex bit is infinitely less likely to royally fuck up their entire lives.

Fuck that guy...with a battering ram coated in fiberglass lube.

Have your children or their cousins had a genetic work up done? If not, you've got nothing remotely credible to say.

"There's no advantage to me of going there," Denton said, adding, "I don't have conventional liberal views on abortion, no."

I wonder what made the Repuke women think they were people?

You've maligned the asshole sir, I demand you apologize to the noble orifice.

As much time as this twat bubble spends thinking about gay sex and fucking dogs, musing over the uterus and how to get back in one and lying through his hypocritical fuck ugly face and not jacking off for Jeebus how does he find time to worry about swearing?

lawyer/label thing not a Beyonce thing. Meh.

If she's horny, I wanna be involved. IDGAF about the circumstances. Hell I could walk in on her fucking someone else and I'd probably wait 'til she came before I started to rage.

No. I straight up was raised in hell. My mom was an addict, my dad a convict. The things druggies and assholes do to an 8 year old little girl who is almost always alone make Stephen King's shit look like a fucking Disney Princess movie.

Honestly? They make dog shit an hour while the restaurant demands homage for giving them a job where they make dog shit an hour.

Really? "Take your time, I'm not in a hurry" means feel free to bump me back and catch up with other customers already seated or patrons seated after me.

Fucking Groupon garbage, why am I not surprised?

Those heavy ass lit books fucked my back up hauling 'em around. I'd say you got damn good odds of coming out the victor armed with that kinda shield.

Goddamnit. I've been an out lesbian for 15 years or so now, I married a gold toaster eligible woman and those gay illuminati assholes have not ONCE filled me in on our agenda.

I love this blog. I've done everything humanly possible to avoid restaurant work. My mom waitressed to feed us. 2 -3 restaurant jobs at a time. Knew it wasn't for me. My body is wrecked at 37 because I have always taken warehouse and lifting jobs. Pick up heavy shit move it to another location, put heavy shit down.…

Streep could make a crusty white dog turd entertaining. A national fucking treasure.

Bookmarking this for the next time being a lesbian causes me shit. Being a homo has some perks. :)

It is kinda long for a sentence. I had to read it twice too.