Lame, earnest response here.

Uh, hate to break it to you, but he already apparently has a reputation. Maybe not on Lauer/Weinstein levels, but not very flattering.

He should get some advice from this guy. He has some experience in stolen bike retrieval.

More like Fogsboro, amirite, guys?

Are we sure “P.J. Dozier” isn’t just another alias KD is using to defend the number 35 in OKC on the downlow?

I figured Jason would have gone to Camp Crystal Lake instead.

When did David Lynch start directing Fox’s baseball broadcasts?

The demons must have taken a special interest with so many kickers to torment. I guess this is their Blair Walsh Project.

Someone there really has a flare for the dramatic.

I was pulling for Sloane and felt really happy for her, but man, it was brutal to watch Madison in that second set. Felt terrible for her, and may or may not have had a dust attack as they met at the net.

American women’s tennis will hopefully stay good for the future as the Williams sisters are aging.

Really hoping Tiafoe can be the next big thing for American men’s tennis. Love Fed and happy to see him get the chance to continue adding to his haul, but I was happy to see Tiafoe push him after having to draw him in the first round.

Will Cain sure seems like a knob.

+1 equivocation 

My favorite part of about the Crab is how he’s just wearing some regular-ass dad sneakers.

He only has to sell 20 pairs of shoes to cover it.

Well, I’ll be! Chase Utley still plays baseball?

Be careful how critical you are of him. I hear he’s not afraid of you, and he will beat your ass.

But did they send you any dog-used memorabilia? Have to make sure this post is on the up-and-up.

You’d think with that much money he could pay someone to teach him how to move his arms like a real person.

I got over the Crosby hate years ago, but I’m at least a little surprised he faced no punishment for hitting a player in the junk with his stick. Add this, and he might be back on my shit list.