MORE LIKE COUTOUTHO!

“The animal jumped out of Harris’ arms into some tall grass somewhere in Citygarden on Market Street, Harris said.” 

I can’t root for Brighton and Hove Albion, because there’s already West Bromwich Albion, and HOW MANY FUCKING ALBIONS CAN ONE LEAGUE NEED!?

“MAH STREET, MAH RULES!”

I thought he had the right idea... and then, splat.

You know you could get the desired effect by hosting one Mustang-only Cars & Coffee.

Brazilian, but not Brazilianed.

Man, that’s gotta be like, the shittiest day. Busted jaw from a jabroni chucking an avocado at your face? Can’t even yell, “What the fuck?”

No, I just didn’t follow European soccer much until then. No way to watch matches here, matches being on while I was at work, etc.

He’s a great player. Everything else, man, fuck that guy.

The dude in the suit looks like he’s the type that gets “deeply concerned” about “disturbing events.”

Neymar is not unlikable. He brought Brazil the first Olympic gold medal, and he got his back broken playing for the national team. He plays great soccer, and while he gets into a pretty good amount of shit, he also gets fouled a lot of the damn time. He’s nowhere near as much of a shit as Ronaldo, and even though he’s…

#feelsbadman

I’m Brazilian.

You asshole.

The problem with drinking stuff that’s good, is that you no longer have stuff to mix with things. Buffalo Trace and Weller are great because they’re right at that price point where you can mix it and not feel bad, because you can just go buy more.

No.

I’ll do my part and offer first-meet handshakes to everyone.

WHO DOESN’T WANT TO HUG PUDGE!?

I’ve gotten the same reaction. I offer the smile and handshake to everyone, and attempt to hug nobody on first greeting. There’s that awkward pause most of the time with women, though.