As ever, fuck the Cubs.

Yeah, I don’t advocate headhunting, but all of the pitches in the series against Milwaukee that I’ve seen have hit him in basically the same spot—it’s not like pitchers are striking his ribs or head or legs, they’re all hitting the arm that he illegally dangles into the zone.

The Doobie Brothers wound up fronted by Michael McDonald.

Ty Kelly’s Twitter account is a gem. I truly hope he doesn’t go Milkshake Duck on us.

Comte, have you heard anything today from that pleasant person who called you out specifically in the comments of the Game 6 writeup?

I dunno, Washington can have it for this story.

“If there was enough evidence, he would have been convicted.”—My extended family

Stuff like this is also incredibly harmful when it comes to more insidious corporations and things like the local news, where company ads are run as though they’re legitimate stories. And while native advertising and natural integration aren’t the same thing, they’re related enough that they could only get married in…

As well as his tendency to claim not to be racist because they have one person of color who talks with them occasionally.

The Padres guy absolutely got the worse deal. He took the loss in relief (W-L is a terrible metric, but losses are a more meaningful stat for a reliever than a starter) and his performance made sports disaster history.

Eickhoff might be able to parlay this into getting the fuck out of Philadelphia. That practically…

In a related story, Jeffrey Maier should still be in a Gulag somewhere.

Let me tell you about how MLS is a pyramid scheme...

Possibly correct.

Optimistic thought: The good news is a JuCo is a low enough slot on the totem pole that this case might (MIGHT!) be taken to court instead of quietly buried under a school’s “oops we killed a kid” emergency fund (lookin’ at you, Maryland.)

Yeah. Been a great start to the week.

“Oh for fuck’s sake.” —Me, a Brewers fan

I dunno, I think that expectations are so low, you’d have to consider taking it on for 2-5 years if the money was even halfway decent.

It’s the heterochromia.

When it enables mockery of a mediocre defensive shortstop who became a media darling for literally one defensive play and who was allowed to gain ownership of one of 30 total major league franchises, yes.

Joke’s on her. The photographer now gets to punch her in the mouth per the unwritten rules of baseball and/or the Cubs’ return to play contract.