I like the 8 Series inside and out, I think it’s a pretty sexy and capable car. But at 133k I would either take a 911 or AMG GT.

Some days I think the internet was a mistake. Today is not one of those days.

“Up next: Dirges in Sturgis”

I read it and I was all like “wait a minute, 250,000 people gathering in one place, that can’t be good” then I (a filthy foreigner) remembered that estate sale =/= yard sale and then it hit me like a smooth summer breeze and I have been dancing to Madonna’s “Ray of Light” for the past 15hrs.

Well, as a retired Navy Seal, Medal of Freedom recipient, single father of two adorable children, who is also a black Jewish Sinti who fled Romania as a teenager and then got a scholarship at Harvard, eventually co-founding a pretty well known start-up (you know which one wink wink nudge nudge) only to leave it all…

Counterpoint: I fucking love the looks of the CT. Finally a car that dares to be completely different. I don’t know what it is with all the people who want their cars to look “normal”. Fuck normal, give me the future!

I love it though. Everything about it!

But will the barn doors be wide enough for two horses?

For a second there I was wondering whether Vanilla Ice was married to Alison Brie.

This made me laugh out loud in the office and any attempt to explain to my coworkers why is - as usual with Jalopnik comments - doomed to failure.

Oh FFS

That #JewishPrivilege of not feeling safe anywhere (except for Israel maybe) once you were directly or indirectly identified as a jew. 

Giving your company a weird latin sounding name with no meaning at all is a revered French tradition.

For somebody who speaks French, Spanish should come easily. There are lots of similarities in vocabulary and some extent grammar. When I had to stay at home during the pandemic I started to learn spanish and got pretty good at it within 2 months or so.

So basically what this commercial is saying, is that thanks to cocaine you’re going to be more productive and make more money. Genius anti-drug PSA. Stonks!

If you think that minor infractions should warrant a potentially lethal response, you should maybe think about a career in law enforcement.

Oh shit, first year philosophy student incoming!

Welcome to Jalopnik - Alienating their readership since 2004.

Here you go