I’ve tried it. Mostly they just think “who is this weird negress talking with a fake british accent?”

Have black people, you know, tried not to be black when approached by police?

True story:

*comes to Kitchenette*

I saved today’s Kitchenette until the dark part of the afternoon to relieve the dreariness of a 3 pm workday. It worked! I am uplifted. also hungry. I’d eat an upside down sandwich

creepy man. creepy.

So this guy was a good-looking white man with a princeton degree? He could have shown up to literally ANY office for almost ANY job and gotten it because privilege. No need to take daddy’s money and/or murder him.

Of course now he has no way to get rid of you when he needs to commit murder. #parentingfail

Somehow the most horrifying thing here is that a 30 year old man told his mother to go to the store to get him a sandwich and a soda - AND SHE DID IT.

Dying laughing at this:

I also work at a restaurant in Portland, OR which sells sandwiches made with local, organic ingredients. I have also had the “you don’t use tillamook, right? It’s over rated” people come in. We also use Beechers, but will sub Tillamook if we run out.

When my son was going through an INCREDIBLY picky stage, my ex-FIL asked to meet us at a fancy DC restaurant for my ex’s birthday. I was panicked, because this place had no kids menu, nor any main dishes or sides that would get us through. My mother couldn’t watch the boy and there wouldn’t be a chance to hit up drive…

i don’t know any 2 people that respond to xanax the same way.

Yep, nope.

(again)

Jon Stewart really did choose the worst possible time to retire, didn’t he...

I was working at a relatively new restaurant in Portland, Oregon. We specialized in sandwiches made with fancy, local, organic ingredients.

For once, I have nothing to add to these excellent stories.

THAT POOR MOM.

1. Upside-down sandwich is the exact same thing my youngest brother would complain about. When he was 6.