I was not aware that no team has ever scored three or more runs in the bottom of the ninth to secure a comeback victory. Thanks for that information!

A “combined no-hitter” is a game with a statistical interest of zero hits. That is not a No Hitter.

A brilliant show, undercut by the fact that they couldn’t:

For what shall it profit a man, if he shall gain the foul ball, and lose his own soul?

“Looked like a decent throw to me”

Joke’s on her. The photographer now gets to punch her in the mouth per the unwritten rules of baseball and/or the Cubs’ return to play contract.

the supply from this particular artist has decreased since his execution

I’m holding out for the rarer Billy Ripken “Fuck face” signed Gacy painting. 

As a guy who ran the 3200, who doesn’t count the laps in their head? What state meet doesn’t have a lap counter at the line? There must have been a clock at the line, how did none of them realize “wow, this is the fastest I have ever run this, by almost exactly a lap”

Not sure Christ really cares much about gold medals. He got hung up on some silver, though.

Seems like A-Rod has finally made peace with #2.

I Loggins just for comments like this.

CHP: We are closing the highway to the danger zone.

Let’s be honest, Kraft has enough money to get the judge to throw the entire constitution out if it doesn’t work for him

“my public defender could have got me off.”

So once and for all, can we all agree, in the American legal system, there is no justice, there is only a price.

Hot Take of the Day Because I Don’t Want To Do Work Anymore:

It is incredible and, frankly, impressive that no matter how much you think this dope couldn’t be any more petty, vindictive, and stupid, he will always find ways to greatly exceed  the worst you can imagine.