Hey, flyover hicks, we all hear what youre saying out there but we are doing our best to ignore you because youre a bunch of ignorant small town shit heads.

Yeah. As a neutral observer, I wanted to see the humble fans of New England prevail because they always handle victory with unimaginable class.

Counterpoint: Fuck the Patriots.

Meh, sounded way to normal.

The Cardinals’ bullpen should be loaded into a rocket and fired at the sun...

Oooh, they’re going to need some Icy-Hot for that burn! I’ll rub it in for them.

Hey Chris,

Dana White is D.B. Cooper.

Dana White designed Elon Musk’s submarine

Dana White is the reason for two Darrins.

A forger working for CVS accuses a woman of being a forger.

And now we wait for the white smoke to rise from the pizza oven, indicating the selection of the new Papa John

“Better Ingredients. Better Pizza. I once saw a black dude getting dragged behind a truck, man.” 

And as with any day that involves Papa Johns, the following morning is always worse.

The pizza dominoes quickly started to fall:

Thank goodness the swamp has been drained. Otherwise I would have thought something inappropriate happened..

Follow the rubles!

I must be getting old because I no longer recognize new euphemism for cocaine. 

Deceptive, buttery and a little later, full of the shits. 

Schnatter is the Papa John's Pizza of humans.