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I am amazed that Stormy Daniels hasn’t won an award for best deep throat. I mean if she let Trump touch her, she must not have a gag reflex.

Does Diaper Don still have a personal attorney?

“Nearly half of us, for example, said we’d be incapable of cooking a ribeye steak to medium temperature.”

“Your winnings sir...”

Don’t forget your towel.

I’m gonna go out on a limb here and suggest that this is a perfect example of what naked corruption looks like.

She’s got most of the corruption and malice of her father, she just doesn’t foam at the mouth about it in public. Having better PR does not equal being a better person.

In other news, the sun rose in the east this morning.

#GriftersGonnaGrift

Well I, for one, am shocked.

Ketchup is also fine to put underneath.

“Don’t put hot dog toppings between the hot dog and the bun. Always ‘dress the dog,’ not the bun.”

Tricking desperate young men into meeting non-existent dates

When they’re in the kicking-the-shoes-off stage, diaper pin the shoe laces to the pants cuffs. Doesn’t keep ‘em on, but they don’t get lost.

Pfffffft! Easy—Done and Done!

I went from feeding the kids every other day to every day and they cry a lot less now. #lifehack

assface

Dickbutt.