Is the Salty Waitress going to be subpoenaed? 

Punch a neo-nutsie for the hell’f it.

Less than that. I bet those tip over if the cup's are full, and people will trash them after the second time. 

Less than that. I bet those tip over if the cup's are full, and people will trash them after the second time. 

The only way I can stand bananas is blended into protein shakes. Frozen is better, because it improves the consistency of the shake. So I wait ‘til they’re ripe, peel them, and freeze them in plastic bags (which get rinsed and reused until they tear from breaking the bananas into pieces inside them).

I’ll throw it out there again, diaper pin shoe laces to pants legs. It doesn’t keep the shoes on, but it keeps ‘em attached when they’re kicked off. 

I figured part of what they're doing is harvesting numbers that are answered. Don't know if I'm correct or not, but after years of fastidiously not answering calls I don't recognize, I'm down to maybe two spam calls per month. 

Of course Trump likes his steaks well done and covered in catsup. 

The original food coloring used in Franken Berry cereal did it, too. Lots'f panicked mothers running to the pediatricians with the kids 'til it was changed. 

Fireproof safes do not prevent stuff from being turned to charcoal. 

Fireproof safes do not prevent stuff from being turned to charcoal. 

If you do try beets, put a note in the bathroom reminding yourself, so you don’t panic in the morning.

Someone must be able to get ahold of their pre-nup. It would be interesting to find out why she's still there. Among other things, does he have a free pass on cheating? 

Why not use the roots of green onions to grow more green onions?

No fucking shit, Sherlock. And then all of the Dixiecrats left the Democratic Party and became republicans after the Civil Rights Act was signed. 

Is it my imagination, or did women quit accusing him after he resigned? Odd, that. 

I thought that was the reason there's a sink in the bathroom. 

As an aside, I love seeing pictures of chiefs from departments of this size showing up at International Association of Chiefs of Police conventions with four stars on their collars, just like the big boys.

“...this October were Democrats don’t support...”

🎻

Then there’s the really buff Pokémon from South America, Macho Pikachu.

Way back, someone was marketing a sauce that was supposed to be specifically for putting on English muffins to make mini-pizzas.