One step ahead of you! My mom went all out on the mat job, she knows what's up.

Oh man, the imagery of the crooked X5 in a handicap spot is too good, I'm dying.

You're welcome, its definitely a story that sticks with you for a long time.

Vonnegut was truly a master, there are few short stories that give me more spine chills than that one.

Non-disabled people who use handicapped spots should be forced into temporary disabilities as punishment, a la Harrison Bergeron.

Are you mad?

Basically the industry has settled on "the squeeze" being the best indicator of what a consumer thinks of the product. They reach up to the shelf, grasp a corner roll, and give it a good squeeze. They're looking for overall diameter and apparent firmness. The problem is that these two factors don't necessarily make a…

I did my internship with a large international store-brand paper product manufacturer(tissues, TP, paper towels) and can say without a doubt that I'll never buy name brand again. You're actually getting significantly less and more useless paper with the name brands, they're just really good at tricking you into…

I believe he keeps some copies in those cars he own(s/ed), wish I could recall what they were.

Word, minivans are amazing for hauling junk and children around. There is no better family vehicle, full stop. I'm actually slightly envious of "soccer moms" in their minivans, they truly have the perfect vehicle for what they do.

Technically, if you consider that physical mock-ups of the original X-Wing had to be made for the trilogy, the percentage is approximately correct for correlating static model to functional prototype.

Have you ever put a fist?

Magnets, how do they work?

Beat me to it! Though when you google white walls now, Macklemore is the only thing that comes up. The world needs more love for BTBAM.

The first time I got to use a rented jackhammer and I realized that you couldn't really ride on them was a very sad day indeed.

On a scale of 0 to Charlie Sheen's bedside table, how much cocaine could be hidden in compartments which are not visible from the exterior?

What's the over-under on how much poo came out when the shots started over lapping by his head?

Ring ring ring, Utility is calling on Line 3.

That's marvelous.

Yeah, once I read it again I realized that it made zero sense in any application. Leaving it unedited for posterity's sake.