Husband and I watched Trainwreck the other night, and at the part where Amy’s freaking out about potentially screwing things up with the guy she likes by accidentally leaving a nasty tampon in the toilet, he looks over at me all kinds of confused as to why there’d be a tampon in the toilet in the first place. When I…

for the year that I was single and telling these jokes, it actually did get me laid a lot after shows

True, but there has to be a happy medium between “disintegrates on contact” and “blocks builders grade plumbing.”

Stop shitting on the floor.

Proof that dogs are accidental assholes and cats know full well what they are doing. My cat used to just chew the pad wrappers.

I only ever did it when I was a repressed, religious teenager, ashamed of my body and its functions. Like, I was sure that it was absolutely necessary to hide the fact that my vagina was bleeding, so if there was no little trashcan in the bathroom, I would flush the pad rather than walk out of the stall with it and…

My dog is way too smart for his own good, and I have not yet found a latch for my bathroom trash can that he can’t figure out. He also (and I apologize for the extreme grossness) likes to eat sodden tampons. This means I have to put the trash can somewhere out of his reach whenever it’s shark week.

Overnight pads? That’s like flushing a diaper down the drain.

this is for buildings I manage. not my home. no judging!

You will not believe how many plumbers I’ve had to call because of stopped up toilets, only to discover someone flushed an overnight pad down the toilet. Pad-flushers, stop. You are embarrassing me.

We have the same problem in our office building. However, actual human waste that the toilet was designed to handle usually has about a 50/50 chance of being flushed for some reason.

omg I want a little happy diva cup now

No one told me not to flush tampons, so I did for years and years.

Thank you for the new wallpaper for my work computer!

I’ve been flushing an awful lot of responses today thanks to the SB shooting posts. Is that okay?

I’ve met people who literally had no clue this was a bad idea and just brush it off like it’s nothing. Like...what the actual fuck, where is your brain?

getting one of those smiling tampons tattooed on me asap.

I love all of this. When my sister was horrified after I mentioned plucking my chin hairs, I said, “NBD. Tina Fey talked about waxing her beard once.” Female comedians who normalize normal bodily experiences make it so much easier for me, the lay person, to love and accept my normal bodily experiences. It's a big deal…

This is a good piece and a good thing to talk about. Brava.