I don't understand what he means by "IMAX penis." Does he mean that it is so diminutive that it needs to be in IMAX in order to see it?

They can't keep him away from DAT ASS

In Stallone America, Momma throws YOU from train!

This is such an utter farce. The fact that Wilson feels comfortable testifying in front of a grand jury should tell us all we need to know. McCulloch is doing everything possible to discourage a indictment. I feel so horrible for Michael Brown and his family.

Scott is having trouble with drinking and he is worried about all the responsibilities of being a new father

my husband still recalls the drunk time I said......'WAIT. Go to Taco Bell.' After we drove out of the McDonalds line with a mcflurry. One block later, I had a caramel apple empanada ice cream blend, and apparently, deep drunk food respect from my spouse (who was my DD).

It's definitely slutty.

I like to think Elaine Stritch answered the knock at the Pearly Gates and that they're both sitting having vodka on the rocks, talking shit about everyone.

OMG I want to hear Rosie in the morning!!

Ah, but what is the verdict on men in tights?

Why I clicked on the Wiz Khalifa link I will never know. But the booty shaking I was met with made it a good decision.

The mattress is dressed a bit too skimpily for its message to be believable.

I'm not quite sure why, but the Miley quote made me think of this kid from We're The Millers:

Seems like Cee-Lo has some kind of vested interest in drugging women and taking advantage of them not being rape. Almost like a person who drugs women, has sex with them but doesn't want to be called a rapist. Curious!

I am such a bad person. When I read just those three words, I almost thought this was going to be one of those weird "Shrayber Sex Stories" Mark has become famous for.