Holyfuckingshit this is amazing.

Assault doesn't by any stretch of the imagination require grievous bodily injury. If someone comes at you slashing with a knife, that's first degree assault; it doesn't matter if you were actually slashed, which could also be charged as attempted murder if "grievous" enough.

Before we get started here, this is not bullying.

http://www.pro-football-reference.com/boxscores/1977…

I am a Lynch fan and did not enjoy this show. Perhaps it's because I watched the show years after its original run, but it seems like a self parody. It's so over the top and melodramatic and consciously weird and horribly acted that it elicits too many unintentional laughs to be taken seriously. While I don't hate…

Was the overtanned, prunefaced,woman with the false teeth screaming at the veteran that lady from those stop smoking commercials?

So, so stupid. +1

2:38

I haven't read the other comments, but the batter shouldn't be able to leave the box more than twice in an at bat. I wanted to strangle Nomar when he took a minute between pitches.

The other guy actually of the two in addition to the one that's at issue here.

I'm completely ignorant of how this industry works, but what would Simmons's likelihood of success be if he launched his own site and left ESPN? Assuming he doesn't have a contract, what's keeping him from jumping ship after all the nonsense he apparently has to put up with.

Do not do anything that could be subject to any interpretation whatsoever.

Need I even point out that Simmons is billed as the archetypal "Everyman" who's explicitly paid to express the opinion of, well, the Everyman? What exactly is wrong here? He said something everyone is thinking. EVERY FUCKING ONE. Is it that he used bleeps, because the last time I checked those aren't "bad words"…

Salisbury shows picture of dick = 1 week.

This sounds awful. It's like a J. Walter Weatheman lesson right out of Arrested Development. I was waiting to hear about a fan's arm flying off before pointing at you sand saying, "And that's why you don't go to live sporting events."

Hicks, assholes, yokels, jerks, morons, assholes, buttheads, fuckfaces, dudebros...let's not get caught up in semantics here. They are all ultimately describing the same thing.

I should have specified "wear my team's colors at an opposing stadium."

Just throwing this out there: no alcohol at either (as in one or the other) tailgating or concessions. Would this solve anything?

If the dudebro with the helmet would have been some poor bystander, I would quietly applaud his foresight.

I'm relieved to know that the NFL is unequivocal and swift with its justice for serious infractions such as these.