So you mean that the 2nd layer of satire was a bridge too far?

Does this really qualify as a "comment?" How about, nah, you're just an asshole.

the minus is due to the fact that the paper was supposed to be about the Outkast song.

So, you are saying that an NBA player was terrified when he heard from a baby he didn't expect, so he left and will never return?

Feels like a good opportunity to post Andrew WK at Gathering of the Juggalos.

"As true today as when it was written."

Pity we have only 1 FBI agent. That was a real oversight.

"Act like you've been there before"

Only God's Love is Everlasting

And I'm also sure that professional athletes never get specifically targeted by law enforcement solely because the cop has an inferiority complex and wants to stick it to the black asshole driving the Maserati.

No, I'm a scientist and I actually think that the misuse of antibiotics is a huge public health issue, and along with anti-vaccination idiots, the sort of nonsense that's probably going to end our civilization. But trying to teach the American public science is harder than teaching a dog Cantonese, and so faced with…

Maybe try using a spoon, then.

You dickweeds are having a lot of fun at his expense, but Tim Marchman's cereal choices have him laughing all the way to the bathroom 6-8 times a day for 45 minute stretches at a time.

First to arrive at the Pistorius home: Dr. Johan Stipp.

Luckily my underwear is made of boyfriend material.

Clearly Michael Sam has become a distraction for you.

PRIEST MODE

If he isn't drafted, chalk it up to the NFL's non-prophet status.

Huh, you'd think West Virginia would love the mother they share.

You do whatever it takes to go home. It might be snowing but so long as she didn't break your legs, you aren't trapped. Invent a fucking jet pack and fly home for christ's sake.