When life gives you mascara, make masquerade.

Somewhere around next Sunday, AD?

Tune Your Goddamn Ukulele and Hire A Vocal Teacher, Internet!

More like Rowsdower's dark mirror.

I knew a kid in junior high who used "motherfuck" as a verb (as in, "motherfuck you!").

Whaddya mean, LOOKED good?

Anne Frankly, I hope she feels terrible.

Cosby sweater? I hardly know 'er!

Ugh…I work at a Lego store. My only consolation is that it'll sell out right away, so I won't have to look at it or sell it to anyone.

Better than a Trump stump.

If anyone needs me, I'll be with the Car Talk staff grief counselor, Ariel Bummerman.

The who?

Lest you get hearing AIDS.

Whatchu talkin' 'bout, Lapalazala?

Suddenly, so much about Disqus's management makes sense.

Mind if I horn in on this thread?

Revenant*

"Touching".

Not in the Chinese alphabet, anyway.

*throws stones in glass houses*