You joke, but this is a godsend for those of us trapped under a pile of fallen newspapers.

Billionaires do not need to exist, there is no function they provide that cannot be taken up by others once their wealth was spread around.

This article is nothing more than part of a schmear campaign.

Execution seems like an overreaction. I prefer a policy that just lox ‘em up.

For the time is right now
I need this sparkling moment
For some great champagne.
Lead me to your wine cellar, my friend
My throat longs for some of that taste.

The worst is when you’re in bed falling asleep and you get that sensation.

I guess Republicans are going to have to be content with flip-flops now.

Damn straight. He needs to learn how to establish his position and then not back down no matter what.

The fucking LeBrons or whatever

Quotes from the story, ranked:

When asked how Burrows could sustain such a severe injury during a practice, Willie Desjardins replied, “Accidents Will Happen.”

“Burrows leaves ice at Nux skate holding wrist with medical staff Hand in Hand.”

With this injury, I’m afraid that Burrows will see No Action tonight.

I will also not dress for tonight’s game.