You joke, but this is a godsend for those of us trapped under a pile of fallen newspapers.

Billionaires do not need to exist, there is no function they provide that cannot be taken up by others once their wealth was spread around.

I’m fully expecting them to cancel it and replace it with the Dick Wolf drama Chicago Heaven.

This article is nothing more than part of a schmear campaign.

Execution seems like an overreaction. I prefer a policy that just lox ‘em up.

For the time is right now
I need this sparkling moment
For some great champagne.
Lead me to your wine cellar, my friend
My throat longs for some of that taste.

The worst is when you’re in bed falling asleep and you get that sensation.

I guess Republicans are going to have to be content with flip-flops now.

Damn straight. He needs to learn how to establish his position and then not back down no matter what.

He’ll be talked about a lot but never seen, is always leaving the room when the main character comes in, is someone everyone wants to associate with but is also a constant source of frustration and self-loathing.

The fucking LeBrons or whatever

Quotes from the story, ranked:

When asked how Burrows could sustain such a severe injury during a practice, Willie Desjardins replied, “Accidents Will Happen.”

I will also not dress for tonight’s game.