Even the hiking on STJ is great. It’s a nature lovers paradise and a lazy ass, beach dwellers (me) paradise as well. With the added bonus of lots and lots of delicious cocktails!

It fills me with joy to see Stephen Lang get the lusty kudos he deserves. Damn. Damn! Damn, again!

Yes, please. Pretty please. Shut up and take my body!

Yep yep yep.

So, we’re supposed to feel sorry for these kids who are - basically - running a low-rent Bling Ring?

I don’t like graphic violence but if not for that I’d watch this. I’m a sucker for silver fox virility TM* and would totally bang Stephen Lang.

My parents, who are so cheap that they refuse to pay for voicemail and still legit have an answering machine...on a land line. My mother does have a pretty advanced Samsung smartphone she’s adept at using. However, my dad has a flip phone and literally only uses it for calls. No texting and he doesn’t check his…

Monsters. Only monsters leave voicemails. You know Trump is one of those people who leaves winding, two minute long voicemails.

I feel like we aren’t really addressing the root of the problem: WHO IS STILL LEAVING VOICEMAILS in 2016?

this better be A+ satire

You are a beautiful motherfucker and clearly the top commentator AND commenter.

So the Cowboys are dead in the water?

Dak ends up with some back issues too... And some arm issues, and well, his whole body really.

This. Is. Good. Kinja. The Kinja I crave.

Spoiler alert: Dak dies, and then gets stepped on by an AT-AT walker for good measure.

Boy, thank god fantasy stats are so applicable to real world success!

delusional cowboy fans are hilarious

That didn’t work out so well for Dak last time...

Dak feels like he could take on the entire Empire himself!