I did. It was a stupid question. If they don’t have a mustache, they get the kids eat free meal.

All customers also have the right to review bomb and leave no tip.

You know what results in less tip for you? Pissing off your table because you refuse to serve them what they want.

Kids meals are usually the cheapest things a kitchen makes. You’re going to charge them $6 for a hotdog and a half order of fries, but a full order of fries costs $2 and a hotdog costs about 50 cents.

They’re cheaper than a full size meal, so they affect the price, but the tip can go either way. As a server, I know my tip is going to be better if everyone is happy, and my tip is going to go down if the table feels like it’s being nickel and dimed.

That’s where a good server turns it to their advantage.

“I want chicken nuggets and a beer”

There is no law anywhere in the United States that states a person must use their body to save another person. If Donald Trump and I share an extremely rare blood type and the only way he’ll survive is with a kidney transplant from me, no one can coerce me to donate a kidney. It is my choice.

Why do you care though? So what if a 50 year old wants a grilled cheese? You gonna tell them they can’t have one because it’s only available on the kids menu?  Is there some law prohibiting the sale of kids menu items to people older than 12 in your state? 

Believe it or not, that kind of time travel is possible too. Patenting it is absurd because the energies involved far exceed anything humans can produce and if it ever does happen the patent will have expired millennia ago, and people who invest is such a thing are complete morons, but the physics is there.

What does Donald Trump know about monetary policy?  The answer is less than nothing, because what he thinks he knows is wrong.  But that doesn’t stop him from trying to tell people who do know what to do. 

Does @MariahCarey know that #SaudiArabia waged an illegal war on #Yemen where many well documented war crimes were committed. Yemen today is suffering a famine crisis. Sign the petition to urge artists to #BoycottSaudi & reconsider performing in #Saudi https://goo.gl/Bo3pP3

Define “time travel” because time travel is certainly possible. It’s not necessarily a two way street, but that you can go into the future is beyond question. 

“This fuel substitute will reduce your car’s carbon emissions by 95%”

Yeah. And?

He’s a savior just because he got crucified for our sins? I like people who weren’t crucified. OK? I hate to tell you. Perhaps he’s a savior, but he said some very bad things about a lot of good people who steal from the poor and hate their neighbors. So I dunno. I lot of people are saying he wasn’t that great. 

When you see these thugs being thrown into the back of a paddy wagon, you just see them thrown in, rough, I said, please don’t be too nice. Like when you guys put somebody in the car and you’re protecting their head, you know, the way you put their hand over, like, don’t hit their head and they’ve just killed…

Reach out for what?

Don’t think of golf as a game. Think of it as a walking meeting with no oversight where you can discuss obstruction of justice and paying off prostitutes with no official record kept or lawyers to tell you why that’s a bad idea.