I’m a fellow white, and nah, we have to take this one. I mean, the majority of “us” voted for Tang the Conqueror. So the “not all white people” line is pretty weak. Sad to say, but yes, you can lump in Carlson with white people, to our eternal shame.

“Any guy that talked that way was usually the fattest, ugliest S.O.B. in the room.”

this woman does seem like the Pall Mall of prostitutes

She’s not groveling when she’s on her knees. The word you’re looking for is “gobbling.”

“You guys get on your little fuckin’ knees”... She’s just doesn’t want the competition as she is used to being in that position as she grovels.

Fun fact:

And a hearty “Fuck you, sir,” for creating this string of mostly terrible puns.

It’s very unfortunate Wendy’s things happen on live TV.

I don’t know why you Carrabas this so much.

Like many chain restaurants, there is no one person named P.F. Chang—it’s a combination of the founders’ names.

*BPD waits for November and Native American Heritage Month*

I blame the absence of fathers in the white community. Where is the personal responsibility???

That’s still a step up from scrapple.

Will the Eagles visit the White House?

Yeah, I kind of swing between pity and “what did you fucking expect you fucking thundercunt?!”

Because yeah, men like him can and do convince women that they’ve changed so this one will be different, and systematic mental and emotional abuse can and will make you doubt your own everything.

Welcome to the life of a kindergarten teacher.

I warned you!

JESUS CHRIST!

He got it handed to him