Hole up, hole up, hoooooole dafuq up.....

Kellyanne Conway is only 53? Man, lyin’ really does age a person, don’t it?

You’re calling someone a selfish dick, but I’m the shithead. Okay....

OK boomer

When are you two coming home? The new babysitter is weird and he yells a lot.

Touche...

The Distinguished Gentleman. Woof.

Everybody can grow. Everybody can change. I know I’m not the same guy I used to be 30, 20, hell even 10 years ago. Evolution is possible, and I applaud those that take the time to inventory themselves and adjust accordingly.

“I won’t be reading ET again!”

Yeah, like we’re supposed to believe that Donald Trump reads...

I can't imagine a scenario in which you thought this, typed this, re-read this, and thought this was going to go well for you.

My annual goal as a Wypipo is to make sure I never say/do/be anything that would net me this award. Not gonna brag or nothin' but I'm five-for-five.

Meet the “Conservative Squad,” a clan of four white women running for Congress in 2020.

I’m no spelling expert, but in this case, I’m sure clan is spelled with a K.

I’ve heard it said that a 99.9% safety rating is akin to two plane crashes at O’Hare Airport every day.

True, but ridesharing is essentially a public trust, meaning there is a complete expectation that you as a passenger will get to your destination safely that that I the driver can fully expect to arrive home without incident. Short story long, 1 out of 1.3 billion rides is one too many.

As beautiful as this was, screw you for making me ugly cry at work. XD

Auntie Kamala didn’t just dunk on the POsTUS, she took of her shoe, slapped him upside the back of his sweaty head with it, and slammed the door on the way out yelling, “I HOPE YOU DO!”

I regret that I only started appreciating the Obamas’ after they had already left.

All of them. The answer is all of them.

Any three Trumps? (Any combination of either gender)

We’d have to gender swap for this one. Tucker Carlson, Rush Limbaugh, Lou Dobbs.

More like kill, kill, kill.