Xzibit: Yo dawg we heard you were a trust fund kid who likes to drink underage and drive while intoxicated, so we pimped that ride to match the lifestyle

“The Renesis engine is basically choking itself...”

So I probably shouldn’t have watched that video at work without headphones, got a ton of dirty looks from my coworkers. Not because of the sound, but because I was masturbating.

I’m a huge proponent of the Fist Amendment, myself.

I think it’s better than most of its direct competition.

an ST performance variant

Wow, I didn’t know one of the Bullitt cars had a 2JZ.

Well we’re not here to talk nonsense to Bob Loblaw.

I’m glad to see a motorcycle-related article on Jalopnik. It would be nice to read more of them. 

This is what Cheryl needs to be building in her new shed. 

As a kid I always heard this as “So long ye donkey!”

I don’t know why either.

Gotta show her this, then. It sums up my feelings driving in this state. 

Social Media Editor that lives in Williamsburg and rides a Moto Guzzi with heat wrapped exhaust.

What’s it like being a living stereotype?

I’m more worried about the car behind me driving around this area. Maryland drivers are completely oblivious to the car one car ahead of the next one and consistently slam on their brakes last minute giving zero stopping time for the other cars behind them. 

Crtl+F “Gritty”

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*Closes tab*

This one looks like it would be his last project.

Jalopnik should sell a calendar.

A high pitch “ohhhhhh” grunt from Sharapova when you lock the doors would be nice.

For me it goes on the seat, then the kitchen table, then desk when the table gets cluttered, then finally into a binder once I feel like being clean.

Crown Royal is the go to for people who don’t drink scotch, only know Jack Daniel’s and Jim Beam, but want something “a little better.”