For extra credit, they could have thrown in a reference to Hillary’s emails.

(Boston?)

Cosigned. I’m not 100% sure I can throw a punch for #punchNazis, but even I can toss a cup of soup.

They’re curiously strong!

Ten bucks says Goop recommends this diet.

In the words of Anjelah Johnson, “I love Jesus... but I will punch a ho.”

You are my hero.

If they don’t take at least 20 minutes to make, they’re not real grits. (Thanks, My Cousin Vinny!)

I had some instant oatmeal with flax seeds for breakfast recently. I think that might actually be the Whitest Breakfast Ever.

The police put gas, or the thieves?

“Indian” and “Muslim” are not mutually exclusive.

While I don’t disagree that m***t is the Worst Word, I nominate “panties” for Second Worst.

That is some next-level fuckery and I’m sorry you have to deal with it.