I would have guessed Arbor Mist as a Republican thing. It's like wine for Christians who can't decide if they should drink or not.

Stoli. Democrats. As I thought...Commie fucking bastards.

It doesn't matter. To most Texans, they all look the same.

"Heroic" is defined as the use of Wayne's World lines on Deadspin. Here's to you, real man of genius.

Notice Chris Myers' eyes. Can't take them off the BOLO.

Notice Chris Myers' eyes. Can't take them off the BOLO.

I've gotten better. I used to hate all white people. Now. I just hate whites from the south. And Boston. FWIW, I'm a white New Yorker.

That makes Tom House as qualified to coach quarterbacks as Trent Dilfer.

Things the Dallas Morning News Readers Learned About Charlie Strong.

Guy Fieri is going to end up hosting this...

Is there a record for most coaches fired in the first 48 hours after the season ends?

Jeeeezus. Who told her this shirt was a good idea?

I mean, this is obvious...right?

Hey Berman, Reggie Lewis' heart was even bigger than it was when he got in the business and look where it got him.

It's as if, after last Thursday, she lost the will to live.

Security staging, disaster response staging, additional media parking, staff parking, TV and satellite trucks, helipad, Roger Goodell's enormous head. All will consume the remaining spots.

It's like clockwork. Every time Deadspin posts a Donovan McNabb tweet, my SU degree falls off my wall.

Funny. I have the same heart condition that he allegedly has. My cardiologist and wife would castrate me if I had more than one slice of pizza at a sitting.

Google Images fixes everything.

Don't forget the Dash