I did that to my little brothers friend in high school! I gave him my dads garden Thai chili (red one) then when he was freaking out, I gave him the equally hot green variety and said, “hurry, eat this one... It’s the antidote!”

Nope, it is still easily Trout

Jesus. That second friend is a dick.

One of my buddies in college (who was usually hilarious when super baked) one time made a Digorno pizza for us for dinner. So he grabs his first slice and is walking towards the living room and he stumbles and his pizza hits the carpet. Instead of acting like a normal person he dives for the pizza on the floor while…

There I sat, a 5-year-old kid at a beautiful national park on vacation with my family. Early morning, and in my hand was a warm cinnamon roll with icing - one of my favorite things ever. I took a bite, and the yellow jacket that also highly esteemed cinnamon rolls and had landed on mine stung me viciously in the roof…

I used to eat the red plastic coating that is on those little round Babybel cheeses, thinking it was part of the cheese after peeling off the plastic. My whole life. My wife finally corrected me after seeing me do it.

+1 for the story, -95 soaked t-shirts for thinking Wisconsin is ever humid.

Once, when I was about five, my mom packed some raisins in my lunch. Actually, not some, but the entire one pound box because she ran out of baggies. Being raised to not waste food, I ate the entire box. and consequently puked all over the daycare lunch table with the other kids sitting there. And then was berated by…

My mom watched idly as I ate baker’s chocolate after she told me it’s not the same and I begged to differ.

My folks took me to a steak house when I was about 10 or 12 with a large group of family and friends. I proceeded to drink about twelve Roy Rogers and the accompanying maraschino cherries. I think I may have had even more cherries than the two cherry per Roy Rogers standard ratio. On the way out of the restaurant,…

At Firehouse subs they have a hot sauce bar. Most of them are pretty tame and not really that spicy even if they say 9 or 10(usually the spiciest). Well I was looking for one with guava and other nice flavors added to it to go on my meatball sub. I found one called Vicious Viper. I worried about it because a lot of…

Several times in my youth did I eat the scoop of butter off a stack of restaurant pancakes thinking it was whipped cream

It was either 7th or 8th grade, hippy teacher decided to have a ‘culture’ day where you could bring in food from other ‘nations’. For me, that meant pineapple from Hawaii. Hot girl in class volunteered to help me cut pineapple...cut to me slicing the pineapples with her where I would take a bite and she would bite the…

Ain’t no mishap. That stuff’s delicious.

When I was 19 I visited NYC for the first time. My friend’s aunt took us to an Indian restaurant in Chelsea and I ordered the Chicken Vindaloo. When the waiter asked me how spicy I told them 11 on a scale of 10. His smirk should’ve set off some alarms. That was almost 20 years ago, and it remains the spiciest thing…

I once ate an entire wedge of brie knowing damn well it was brie

When I was first learning to cook on my own I decided I wanted some chicken enchilada. I Googled a recipe and it called for 3 cloves of garlic. That’s the day I learned (the hard way) the difference between “clove” and “bulb”.

I was just getting into cooking a year out of college. Started making home made french fries, so easy I thought and so much better than the frozen ones. Well I got impatient one day and decided to cover the oil to heat it up faster (never cover frying oil). Living with a bunch of friends, my one roommate says to me, I…

As a kid I was taught it was polite to eat everything your host puts in front of you. On a family trip to Boston when I was nine, I think, we went to a nice restaurant. The kind of place with great service. I drank a glass of water, and somebody was immediately there to refill it. I dutifully drained it. And it was…