"Open up a slot for someone who isn't going to make a mockery of themselves and will try to get through college with some fucking dignity."

Vodka tampons seem like the worst possible idea. That's the part of my body that makes the worst decisions while drunk; I don't want to be an enabler.

What a weird comparison. I wouldn't say Lindsay was ever as dedicated as Tonya.

I was talking with a friend about him one time and she had an excellent point - unless you're REALLY REALLY into poetry, you probably have never heard of and will never hear of Neruda unless someone who already knows him introduces you randomly. He isn't someone you just discover on your own. And I love that about him.

Nothing to contribute except to say thank you for sharing this. I absolutely adore Neruda and love seeing that others have heard of him!

Neruda KNOWS. Beautiful poem.

I've never read/heard that one before, I adore it! Thanks for sharing!!!

love love love!

Nice!

I am ready to throw down over "#LiesToldByFemales I made it from scratch." There is a tart shell baking in the own right now that says otherwise, asshole. If I buy something, I say so. #bakingpride

LiesToldByFemales: "Santa is not going to bring you any presents if you don't finish those vegetables."

@hell_doe

I read this this morning and realized that you can add up all the existentialist writings of the twentieth century and it still won't amount to one tenth of this story's distillation of what it means to be a lonely soul in a meaningless universe.

What on earth are you talking about? Charlize Theron is African, she was born in Africa, raised in Africa saying she isn't undermines every single person who is not the colour of the indigenous people in their country. There are white Africans and black Europeans and South Asian Caribbeans, there are millions of…

Still not funny. Punching downwards to someone less empowered for the sake of a joke isn't funny or clever - it's mean. No one thought it was funny when a 9-year-old was called a "c*nt" last year, even though it was quite clearly a "joke" - this isn't funny either.

Yeah, if you have to "punch downwards" to make a joke, you probably shouldn't. It's just really rude. I wish Madeleine would deign to respond to maybe clarify why she's decided to pick on an old woman, but we both know that Jez authors don't roll like that.

Also, I wanted to loudly heckle the real life Philomena.

I am sorry that you felt that this incredibly diverse group of winners at this awards show was so boring and elitists. I guess that acknowledging that Asian, Latino’s and African Americans were represented AND winners who were called up on the stage is too much of a bother for you and not entertaining for you at all…

You devoted 11 paragraphs to this? If you're so disgusted by the waste of time, why are you wasting your time on it? Go volunteer at a homeless shelter or raise money to help families who just got their food stamps cut. Something. Anything. Jesus, what a whiner.

You mad, bro?