Bachelor in Paradise is basically a lot of attractive people with no souls randomly banging out of...boredom? It seems like boredom. It’s gonna be fucking great.

Yeah, I’ve watched a lot of his english stuff (the F word is particularly good) and he seems like a talented chef and a nice guy. I get that the asshole persona works for his media empire, but I get the sense he’s actually a decent guy and a very good teacher.

Yeah that was where the whole thing turned from “shit I’ve been seeing and dealing with for 20 years” to “thing that might get through the thick skulls of people in the middle of America.” Good for her for being so open and vulnerable about it.

It’s true. If the bible doesn’t specifically say it’s okay, it’s forbidden. See me to turn in your car, access to medical care, phone, internet, and electricity.

This seems like a terrific fight to be having in 2017. Neither Bernie nor Hillary is going to be running for president again, ever. If you’re not a troll (you’re definitely a troll), maybe pick a new candidate who isn’t in their 70s to get behind. There are a lot.

I work from home. My dog, who does not bark much, inevitably picks the times I’m on a call to LOSE. HIS. FUCKING. MIND. I don’t know what it is about dogs and kids and choosing their moments, man.

Eh. Fuck the Giants. It’s an odd year. We don’t have to think about them.

Can we all just, as a society, agree that reality show people are terrible and not representative of the vast majority of the group they claim to represent?

Tim Tebow is a moderately attractive man with moderate talent for sports and a whole ostentatiously Christian angle that appeals to a few people. He is not the best at anything. He’s not even the best devout Christian sports person (let’s all look at Clayton Kershaw for a sec, shall we?). Can he just fucking go start…

I love AZ spring training. Going to whatever game happens to be happening at that moment, side-eyeing people in rival jerseys at the random airport bar...it’s the best thing.

I think the great lesson of history is: if your kid would rather paint than lead a country, for the love of god let them paint.

I’m going to shower across the street, make sure my change of clothes are around the corner

He got heat for being a pedantic knob. Which, if his WH performances are anything to go by, was WELL DESERVED.

My only reaction to this now and always: thank FUCK it did not go the other way.

I’m assuming the leak was sent from the meeting. The horrifying policy objectives of this administration are mitigated only by its total fucking incompetence.

I for one cannot wait for the day we stop relitigating this Bernie/Hillary thing as a party. Won’t it be nice when it’s Buttigieg/Kander or Harris/Newsom and nobody knows who Bernie supports or who Hillary supports (and hopefully they both just keep their mouths fucking shut and support whoever wins) and people in…

Fuck Jill Stein.

Democracy’s a contact sport. If you can only handle discussions with people who agree with you and don’t like vigorous and robust debate, maybe it’s not for you.

They should just let Sam Bee do whatever she had planned for her counterprogramming event.