The dress isn’t exposing “knickers,” but shorts. Since when is showing a midriff risque? This is now worth reporting on!

I know that with drinking “pump and dump” is a myth. You can’t just funnel the booze out. When it’s completely out of your system, it’s then safe to nurse.

I’m Italian and by the end of summer people ask if I’m Indian. I apply kid-grade sunscreen, but I still get quite dark.

My favorite mermaids were from Peter Pan. They were total bitches.

Her contact lenses and makeup were red flags.

I had the opposite reaction after being photographed (without my knowledge) for a fashion section in New York Post. I hid in shame until my friends and coworkers forgot about it.

Maybe with such magnified celebrity sexuality, vanilla is the new exotic.

Thank you. All my tension has evaporated.

Infuriating! Like these meatloaf/mashed potato cupcakes and s’mores soap. I love meatloaf and soap, but don’t fuck with me!

I’m so confused.

I was so pleased when maxi dresses came into style the summer I was pregnant. Avoid pants and shorts at all costs!

Yep! She spent the whole class chasing and roaring!

My daughter dressed as a dragon her last day of ballet as it was costume day. She was the only non princess.

Look him up on YouTube. In NYC, a lot of people used to tape their pants for cycling so they wouldn’t get caught in the chains.

duh!

Unless you’re Andrew WK who rocks white jeans almost always. But yeah, they’ll be dirty.

Guess I’m past my prime. This is all I saw.

I heard the description at a jazz club in Harlem, so probably authentic. Language is continually evolving, so today it shall be bag of ass!

#4 is from the slang , “Girl has got the groceries.” Because you put your load of groceries in the trunk = massive ass.

A whale shark is a shark.