I still find it incredible that Anna Wintour, a person who wears the most horrible outfits imaginable, is some bastion of what taste and style is. Her haircut hasn’t changed in decades, she wears the same makeup regardless of it being day or night and literally the only thing that changes on this husk of a human is…

I give it 127 hours.

So, basically, it’s like everytime you try to have a faculty meeting. Everyone is never free on the same night.

“I sure hope — we’re in Bernie Sanders’ backyard here in New Hampshire — I sure hope he intends to show up in his neighboring state”...“There is nothing worse than a debate about debates.”

Your comment reminds me of something I do at any bar association events. Any time I get a compliment, I say “no, I’m not (insert good adjective here), but (insert either name of partner or the firm of the person I am talking to) is definitely known for (being that aforementioned good adjective). Then I take a long…

I’m a litigator. Sometimes I’ll do oral argument before the Court and think, “shit, that felt like rambling. I bet I sounded so dumb. I must do better next time.” And then I get the transcript back and I’ve spoken eloquently throughout it. Comparatively, I imagine Palin is like “nailed it” after a speech and then…

PLEASE PICK SARAH AS YOUR RUNNING MATE DONALD!!!!!

“Few things are more infuriating than being sold a film about minorities that is really about a white savior.”

Hmm. Maybe I need to talk slowly here.

“Is that a gun in your pocket....probably not”

I laughed but I didn't feel good about it. Well done.

My wife once got an actual photograph of some guy’s boner slid under the apartment door. She and her roommate figured it was the creepy morning doorman of their building. She kept it because it was so comically large. Years later, I was trying to find a pen and I stumbled across it and she told me the story. This was…

This woman is a true hero. I should celebrate by sending her pictures of my genitals, right?

Between her and the shark, this is a fun Friday.

I’ve frequently been drawn to cute clothes at target only to discover they are maternity.

That is weird. I wonder if there is a portal at their house that leads to the world of lost phones.

“Why can’t women just be direct and honest if they don’t want to go out with you?!”

I just want to remind everyone that even if you have not experienced violence or harassment due to rejecting unwanted advances you absolutely know someone who has, this is as horrifying as it is common.

Republicans, take note: this is not how this is supposed to work

I love this speech and really admire Shonda Rhimes, while simultaneously not liking any of the shows she has created. Crazy? Don’t care.