Full disclaimer: this rant is a bout a show I haven’t watched yet.

Yeah, this all begins and ends with The Thing for me. As others have mentioned, leaving school-aged (maybe 6th or 7th grade?) kids alone at a sleepover and having one of us pick the movie is usually not a great plan...

Dour person here. The first 20 minutes is fun. The world building is great. And then.... instead of focusing on that they spend almost an hour doing that episode of Ren and Stimpy where they have space madness.

I WILL FUCKING CUT YOU

My first experience with relatively (pun intended) Hard Sci-Fi.

Congrats to fistpuppet bubbajoe123456! You’ve identified the letter of the law, and expressed support for it, while ignoring the spirit. You rock!

Actually, if you read their own policy on this (it’s on their website) it says that they may require passengers to give up their seat PRIOR to boarding. They should never have boarded and seated them if they knew it was full and they needed the seats.

This movie was inane in the exact same way as Prometheus...numerous moments which gave me the urge to stand from my seat, point accusingly at the screen, and yell, “...and you call yourself a SCIENTIST?!?”

SPOILERS

May I ask, does anything Trump does ever give you pause? I’m not asking you to agree with liberal policies.

Do you want a giant alien gateway to the uncanny space behind space to drag itself from the ruined surface of Venus? ‘Cause this is how you get a giant alien gateway to the uncanny space behind space.

Or, instead of wringing our hands about how terrible it is, maybe one could ask the pertinent question about why a substantial portion of the populace is becoming disenchanted with said social contract?

I don’t know that I would go that far, but I think it’s fair to say that I should just not go to any film that J.J. Abrams directs any more. He has some significant strengths as a director: he’s got a good eye for visuals, and he’s a fantastic at pulling great performances out of his actors.

This deserves to be higher if only for leading to this

If we’re talking about suspense and some horrific shit when horrific shit is not expected, I nominate the dog kennel scene from The Thing (1985).

Yeah, on the one hand I wouldn’t mind something more mature tonally especially from a story that will probably result in the death of most of the protagonists. I mean, we don’t need a Threepio in this film in my opinion. On the other I don’ t want to watch Godzilla in space either. I liked that movie but it was so…

It’s totally the protomolecule.

If reading Leviathan Wakes has taught me anything, it’s that there are no bright spots on Ceres.