Then muttered an apology and was instantly restored to Daddy’s good graces, while the son who actually stayed home and held things together gets shafted again.

A fitting metaphor since the prodigal son was a dumbass who coasted through life on his Dad’s money.

Goldie didn’t have star all these years? She’s had an Oscar for almost 50 years! But you’ve gotta love Goldie and Kurt getting them together.

I’ve heard he’s usually in a French model.

It started, of course, with the Daily Mail, which reported that there was some sort of all-hands meeting scheduled for royal staffers.

Can anyone confirm that Prince Albert is still in a can?

“So ends the era of England’s snarky grandfather...”

“just because you make more money than me doesnt make you better than me”, lol. thanks for the link, i only had the pics and had never seen the video before

THIS IS REAL AND IT IS AMAZING AND THAT LITTLE CHILD IS SO ADORABLE AND WHAT IS THIS

Not to be facetious, but why would you want models draped all over your yacht? What if you want to actually sail your yacht somewhere -- how do you scare them off? Can you use a broom to shoo them away, or do you have to pry them off, like barnacles on the hull?

Can you have a series dedicated to a daily Fyre Fest update? This is never not funny.

Waiting for those assholes who were just sooo sure the cops were telling the truth, who claimed that OF COURSE these Black teenagers were drunk and breaking the law and tried to run the cops over. OF COURSE this cop wasn’t lying. If these kids weren’t doing anything wrong, they wouldn’t have been shot. Because the…

SUSAN:

That was difficult to watch. My 4-year old son, Finn, was born with a heart defect that he will have to have operated on. It’s called aortic valve stenosis. I know how Kimmel felt when he’s being told of the issue. So much uncertainty. So many questions. So many tears. We worried that our son might not even make it…

The fact that parents in the United States are faced with decisions like “rent or healthcare?” should probably be a big red flag that something has gone horribly, horribly wrong.

I’m apparently part jerk bc that skit never bothered me. Also, I would watch mean tweets every day until the end of time.

What a brazen play to be appointed Secretary of Eugenics. Heard the position is still open.