Denial: America's Preferred Method of Dealing With Sexuality!

Sparrow Face looks almost exactly like Duck Face, am I wrong?

Yes, true, but I think jokes about pedophilia are about as funny as rape jokes (i.e. uninventive, misogynistic, and not funny at all).

Lawrence probably doesn't have the final word on her magazine pictures, posters, and stuff right?

HOLD UP. Christmas isn't over quite yet!!

Go Courtney with your new look — the dark hair is a vast improvement.

EXCELLENT.

Holy shit. Keyser Soze is real and female.

Oh, sure.

The "reluctant hero" gets a book deal and free hamburgers for life. But all I get is leered at in the mall food court where I work.

Look, I don't want to wear this dumb costume. No one wants to dress up everyday like a tasty Greek sandwich. But you gotta do what you gotta do. So I do it, reluctantly — a…

But we're not getting the whole story here.

Yes, because your Christmas being ruined by a devastating tragedy of human behaviour is what is important here...

Not to be selfish, but I hope this is the worst thing I hear for a few days.

I swear to god, if I have to hear one more guy tell me I should just appreciate the compliment I'm going to lose my shit.

countdown to the "OMG NOW WE CAN'T EVEN LOOK AT YOU" post.

I simply do not understand this logic. "When gay people get mad that a powerful majority is consistently ensuring they have less rights than straight people, THEY'RE BIGOTS."

Ha! The wrapping paper part hit home. I wrapped my boyfriend's present in nice stripped silver wrapping paper with a red and green bow I made from yarn and he gave me my gift in a brown paper bag with newspaper as tissue paper...

Who puts a tree into a truck bet top first? City slickers, that's who.

I fixed it:

Good thing I studied art for 7 years and got the highest possible degree in my field so I can make paintings that sit in my apartment and rot.......