Funny, when my brother got mugged not once but twice, my parents never questioned the fact he was walking home alone late at night or that he had cash on him. The police took his statement like business as usual. My mother wanted to “catch the bastard that did this.”

I'm with Barbara! How anyone can countenance the "countess" is a mystery. Eggs a la francaise for the win, kids.

I think of this girl

OK LOL, “trimming the tree” means decorating it. Not, uh, trimming it.

Also, the American College of Pediatricians (ACP) is not the American Academy of Pediatrics, and anything it publishes should be viewed with a skeptical eye and awareness of its conservative bias.

Bitch, you got god’s phone number? Give it here. I got a lot to complain about to her. 

And I think that Christians should tend to their own fucking gardens and not concentrate on trying to terraform their neighbor’s lawn.

I wonder how Kanye feels about being the “black friend” to radical conservatives.

I feel like venture capitalists would consider theft a sport, right?

And I think it’s the height of hubris to act like you know what God thinks. Science is already not on your side here. Good try though. 

Would like to take this opportunity to applaud the decision to link out to as many great non-sports stories as possible today:

Dear Mr. McQuade,

This is good and now I hope Deadspin never covers sports again.
And if Jimbo gives you any trouble about Trump, explain that you’re dunking on him, and dunking is sports. 

Stealing pumpkins is a sport.

Man, I love people who self-own through being hilariously inept. You know, pumpkin thieves, thin-skinned vulture capitalist owners of blog sites, those kinds of folks.

Not unpopular.  Entirely accurate.  

Unpopular opinion: I don’t think Mr. Perry likes women that much. Look at his character and how women are depicted. Ambitious women are evil, mean and selfish. Women who sacrifice everything for husband and children and ask for/ do nothing for themselves are the model women. In his head a women with a husband and…

Did the private equity boys use the stock photo fund for new yachts?

I don’t mean this disparagingly, but as a matter of fact. The guy is so off his meds. He must be a chore to deal with at home and at work.

Filed To: Kanye Has Never Heard A Radio Edit Of His Songs