Do you really want to advertise to a predominantly female audience that your penis might be small enough to fit inside a half-inch depression in a plastic mouse? I mean, I'm just sayin'.

I was fine until little brother Robin showed up, and promptly embarrassed myself (at my desk, where else) with one of those half-laugh/half-sob sounds.

We are in the same boat. I too don't understand how I ended up watching the Chinese Food vid

Mine are just creepy and nonsensical, like "Sophie also likes to die awhile ago finally"

Right. As if rich people weren't insufferable enough, let's make sure their kids will learn to turn their noses up at anything but organic quinoa and hydroponic kale sauteed in albino rhinoceros tears.

Perfect movie tie-in. 300: Sandwiches.

Can we just not tell them that this is a wasted effort, so that some of that super PAC money gets wasted in the process?

When I was a teenager, my grandmother once tried to explain why interracial marriages were bad. "You don't see a horse and cow together, do you?" And I responded, "No, but I've seen black horses and white horses together." Shut her right up.

She'll probably attack her owners/guardians first for dragging her everywhere like a stuffed animal. And then I will say...

I always thought Censorious Cat would be a better name. Or Karma Cat. She's not grumpy. She's outraged. At you.

Umm... you know all cats are sentient, right?

But mostly the human's, right? What's the animals harm? That it chokes on a splintered femur?

You know he finds the most erotic part of a woman the boobies

"Ugh...I'll get your ointment, sir."

Leela! It's real velour!

I don't have the right bent to comment, but Leela can get it any time (and she's a bit frosted to be left out of the list above).

I honestly have no fucking idea. I TA for a class of 300 every year. Without fail there are about 45 of them that can hardly spell their own name.

Usually don't remember a damn thing, even whether I dreamed or not. I just assumed I do because I remember reading somewhere that everyone does.

All the time. I wake up, and think "Whoa, what a fucked up dream!" but then can't really recall why it was fucked up or what happened. Weird.