Came here for Electric Company love! And I agree with my fellow childfree women here, babies and toddlers are just so damn cute when they’re clean and have their adorable little outfits on. And it helps when they go home with someone else, amirite friends, heyoooooo

At this point, if the human race hasn’t left this doomed rock by the time the Sun goes red giant and scorches the place to shit, we deserve our fate.

As for the scumbag v shitbag? Scum used to be (still might be) another word for jizz. So there’s that.

*(Outer Rim)shot*

Ah shit, I just realized that all the Kaysen’s and Krysteena’s of the world are going to be grandparents one day.

This. 1,000 times this. Drew was wrong, though. Ask 1,000 weight lifters the best routine and form and you’ll likely get 1,500 answers.

Childfree here as well... and you should hear the dumb shit that comes out of my mouth when I am around my toddler niece and baby nephew, it’s pretty embarrassing, lol.

I thought I was safe from hearing about this lifting madness until the Cool Girls decided that they now Lift too. All of a sudden before and after pictures of random obnoxious acquaintances cropping up on facebook: “I was 115 lbs before (wearing ill-fitting string bikini and slouching) and sooooooooo fat. Now I’m 132…

Yeah—even I, an evil childless spinster, goes “Awwwwww!!!!!” whenever I see a tot kicking its plump little legs or waving at everyone that passes.

One can never go wrong with a good Uranus joke.

Your take on the weightlifting question is 100% correct. There is nothing that hardcore fitness people love more than telling you how wrong you’re doing literally everything in the gym. Put your workout pants on one leg at a time? BULLSHIT, you should sit on the bench and put both legs in at the same time in order to…

“I have been trying to decide what is the most Italian name: Dino, Rocco, or Tony?”

I can’t even make it through the trailer on TV.

We’ll Never Colonize Space

If I have learned anything in my time here, it’s the science will let you down even more than your fellow man will.

I’m pretty sure putting nukes on the moon would be a violation of at least one treaty prohibiting the militarization of space, which is how we avoided both nuke bearing satellites floating overhead and Reagan’s Star Wars program (aside from the bonkers costs of 1980's lasers in space). But really satellites would be…

you and i disagree on steak sauces, but if you have to have one, it better be marrow butter or some other type of compound butter.

I have a puppy that my fiance likes to dress in little sweaters and shit. She’s a small dog and she def needs them when it’s been below zero outside, but it’s gotten a little out of hand. Matching collars and sweaters and leashes.....a little holiday bowtie collar. The dog looks like a pompous asshole with that bowtie…

A. Beurre blanc is amazing on a steak.

I have definitely spotted a tiny airplane can of Coke and been like OMG LOOGIT THE TINY CAN! It’s like R2D2, but a soda! Adorable! Shrinking something makes it inherently more detailed and less imposing.

I’ve always thought the proximity and lower gravity of the Moon would make it pretty useful to have a base on.