“Oh, Mr. Who Disagrees with Players that Kneel, you don’t have the right to say that.”

Jed York: Mom says I’m not asupposed to be on the phone after 9.

Tomsula (into a tin can on a string): HELLO? HELLO? *angrily bangs can repeatedly on cardboard wall of his cardboard box home, holds can back up to his ear* HELLO?!!

+2 low-hanging fruit.

The deposition transcripts are going to be a PR disaster for the league. I don’t think they’re going to implicate themselves in the collision case, but there is a 100% chance of multiple owners saying some racist ass shit.

Stan Kroenke: hey guys it’s dean I’m over my data limit so hit me up on stans phone

Good luck with Kraft since the Patriots ‘go to’ move with phones is to destroy them rather than surrender them to authorities (see Hernandez & Brady).

Jones: How come Mara don’t bring them fine-ass actor girls ‘round no more?

Paul Allen: guys, I think we should use this space to discuss white priv-

Irsay: we partyin or waht

Jimmy Haslam: *continues typing on a calculator thinking he’s sending a text*

Group text:

So, so many pics of old man balls are in some intern’s future.

As a black man living in America, I feel the NFL protests appropriately draw attention to one of America’s gravest race-based sins at a venue that makes it uncomfortably difficult for those either apathetic to or complicit in it to ignore.

It started with the Gulf War, when all the hippy boomers wanted to make up for spitting on vets coming back from Vietnam and wash their sins away.

I thought that a story about football players hitting back would be about the Ezekiel Elliot case.

When did the flag become the sole property and symbol of the military?

Thanks for this comment, it’s heartening. The full-on military knob-slob mode we’ve been in since 9/11 has a dangerous logical extension . . .

Agreed, he doesn’t speak for all Vets. I don’t feel that slap in the face he describes when they kneel or raise a fist. The National Anthem doesn’t represent me anymore than it does a 70 year old draft dodger who is offended by the protests of it. It represents all of us as a whole and anyone in this country who feels…

That is one helluva response.