My senior year of college, before a game where we were the heavy favorite (a rarity for my team), the coach gathered us around and shouts out “ALRIGHT, I WANT YOU DEEP IN THAT ASS. NOTHIN’ BUT ANKLES AND FEET HANGIN’ OUT, JUST...WIGGLIN’...”

The person who was careless with their coffee was McDonalds. The coffee was served at 180-190 degrees, and caused 3rd degree burns to the woman. That temperature is hot enough to cause 3rd degree burns in 2-12 seconds. It was literally undrinkable. She spent 8 days in the hospital undergoing skin grafts, and had 2…

“I had a stri-zoke in my briz-ain, so I can’t move around all good.”

How dare you slander the great Jim tomsula by lumping him in with Sandusky.

Then he use a giant drill, and bore straight into hell, releasing ancient demons from their sleep-forever spell.

He likes candy sugar plums and taffy break into a sweet shop with his sweetheart Sandy

“Does he have to shave every hour?”

What does any of that mean?

No money, no tackles, no deal!

All commenters below, please note that her lawsuit was not about Porsche being responsible for the crash.

A lot of it is probably the carrier of any life insurance Walker had. Unfortunately, there are many companies out there that have clauses actually requiring an attempt to recover lost income from any involved party before they will pay a death claim.

It’s like bad lip reading, but real and funnier.

Why you gotta sell the man short? He clearly belongs as head coach of the Niners, as apparently he’s the best one they’ve had in three years.

You find a razor on the ground, you’re going to use it.

You got extra clothes I can tell you how to make a quilt out of them for less than $2.00 and a half-hour’s scrounging. You’re gonna need that come November.

The best clip of him as a Niner’s D-line coach was “BLUDGEON!”

His name is Tomsula

“You think you’re some kind of Jedi, waving your hand around like that? I’m a Galettian. Mind tricks don’t work on me!”

Oldest trick in the book. Jimmy’s gonna fill his bindle with everyone else’s clothes.

You..... you know Paul wasn’t driving, right?