Did he? Was that the ONE bucket he scored?

Can’t be. Marinovich wouldn’t be able to put a sentence together between huffs off the gas can.

I think you’re confusing “exploitative” with “supportive.” But you do you.

No worries.

Hi LaVar. Welcome to deadspin.

Not seeing an awful lot of contrast there. Dude might actually be darker than Lonzo.

Todd Marinovich, is that you?

Maybe not humiliation by shutting him down, but 29 teams’ worth of dudes are looking forward to dunking all over Lonzo.

Okay. I didn’t know that. Even so, that is a LOT of reading into yesterday’s game.

Does “Furious Five” refer to the number of pairs of Ball’s sneakers you bought?

Yeah, I kinda feel for Lonzo Ball, too, because you know that he’s going to get all kinds of shit this season and he didn’t start any of it. His dad is responsible for all of the ill will toward him. He would have gotten shit anyway for being a rookie and a high draft pick and all that. But his dad has made it…

I love how this Big Baller Brander keeps doubling down as if he will eventually come up big.

Wait, what? Do you know something about Patrick Beverley’s childhood that literally no one else does? Or are you just.... like, saying stuff?

I am a firm believer that if enough opposing players fuck with him on the court, he’ll turn into a bust. Domineering fathers produce mentally fragile sons. BELIEVE ME, I KNOW 

supportive isn’t the word I would use, maybe more exploitative

If Lavar Ball and Donald Trump fucked, this comment would be their baby.

I don’t think you understood the comparison. Especially since Zaza is 7 feet tall and NOT talentless.

Might be a good place for a reminder that Beverley played all those years in Russia (which is just a delightful place to be for a dark-skinned black man), waiting to get onto the back end of an NBA roster. If there’s a more starkly contrasting player to Ball in the NBA, I’d love to know.

LaVar should sign Beverley to the Big Baller Brand and fire his own son.

On one hand, I kinda feel bad for Lonzo. He seems much different than his dad, and seems to be a solid dude. On the other hand, his father is an insufferable clown whose mouth has written checks that his son’s ass can’t possibly cash. The universe will sort this out, as it always does. What isn’t up for debate is Pat…