He created a Tinder profile offering to pay $1,000 for a ticket, but just tweeted about getting the ticket from a friend.

He was hating Cardinals fans before it was cool! He's some kind of hatred hipster. Also I guess we’re not mocking Cardinals fans “the right way.”

Most characters. It’s taking Sam FOREVER to do anything. And it's nice that Dorne and the Tyrell's have a plan, but maybe don't ignore Dorne the whole season. Minor complaints, all in all it was a great finale for a great season.

Ben looks like he’s been in the sun a little too long and sounds like he’s had a little too much to drink. He's the worst kind of fan right here, a drunk homer in an echo chamber.

They are both terrible garbage people.

“Here’s a picture of me when I’m older.”

Cards fans absolutely do care. At least one comes in here to whine/justify the team’s poor performance every single post.

I always look forward to a Cardinals loss, but you have made it more satisfying. I imagine a long losing streak and you weeping uncontrollably while blaming officials. Kind of like a baby throwing a tantrum. A big, dumb, racist baby.

This is even better than Wednesday’s update, but not quite as good as tomorrow’s update.

What a terrible tease. In a day full of terrible sports news it was nice to briefly think this infected cyst of a broadcaster was going to be gone soon.

Have you met your fellow Americans? He appeals to the below average, the racist, and the wealthy.

Mussolini had a much stronger jaw. And normal sized hands.

I come for the recap, I stay for the angry Cardinals fans in the comments.

Agreed. It seems irresponsible and dangerous to have covered up this fact. But given how the Reagan administration handled the war on drugs and the emerging AIDS epidemic, it is not surprising.

Good for President Obama for having the strength to stick to the script and deliver some well written jokes at that orange, small-handed troll’s expense. I would've resorted to insults and profanity.

You said that they hadn't come to Florida while you lived there, which is completely false.

They have come to Florida every year since the Marlins joined MLB.