notclever13
notclever13
notclever13

I never get the people who complain about the Oscars being too long. If I had something important to be doing I wouldn’t be watching the Oscars in the first place.

Flowers and champagne are like an appetizer and desert on Valentine’s Day NOT the entree.

Jena Malone has a very wobbly head. Watch her act and it’s so wibbly wobbly.

“...I’d embarrass her if I said her name, she’s incredibly famous.”

So Kristen Stewart is....Taken?

If my (nonexistent) boyfriend got me a cream to make my ass and my boobs bigger for Valentines Day, I would seriously reconsider the relationship. Nothing says romance like, “Your ass and tits could use a little work, babe.” Is this why I’m single? If so, I’ll keep it that way.

Fuck them.

sounds like this person isn’t comfortable calling. Hey it happens, I hate talking to anyone other than my mom or my best friend on the phone! And they don’t live close by or they would just talk in person.

This whole concept gives me anxiety. I am individual and I can’t fathom presenting myself online as anything more (or less) than myself.

I try not to judge other parents, cause parenting is hard. But if you put your kid in conversion therapy I judge you. You are a shit parent.

Candy is now going to tell a new story about the nice lesbian couple they met in New Hampshire, and how she and Ben managed to help you see the error of your ways by taking you out for ice cream and a long chat.

It’s okay! Ben Carson probably glamoured you to confuse you with friend problems so you wouldn’t write negative articles about him. He’s always doing that! You should have tried to steal something from him: his car, a handkerchief, the beating, bloody heart he keeps in his coat pocket. You would have ended up

Miley annoys the ever livin fuck out of me. My old man rant is over.

Anita Alvarez is a garbage fire. When DNA evidence in one case proved that someone other than the juveniles in prison had raped and murdered a victim, she actually claimed, with a straight face, that it was possible the juveniles could have raped and murdered the victim, left no DNA, and then the man whose semen was

She is pretty audacious to be running for re-election at all.

15 years ago my friends pranked me really hard that I won the DC shoes monthly giveaway by calling my house and acting like they were from DC. I was suckered really good and got laughed at for weeks. So I wrote DC an email telling them about this story and how I should win it for real and punk those guys right back. I

Holy shit, this hit me like a ton of bricks. One of my fondest memories as a kid was meeting Dave Mirra at the X Games in San Diego in 1995. I remember thinking he was the kindest guy in the world. I was struck by how nice of a celebrity he was because at the time he held basically the same status as Michael Jordan in

It’s not my lottery ticket but if anyone just wants to give me $60,000,000 I promise to spend it on only the finest projects, like a movie starring Jennifer Lawrence as David O. Russell.

It’s the price to pay for being a direction-less leech. The other sisters are hustling and making pimp mama kris proud, rob can’t be sold for sex, he’s useless at star-fucking, he’s not much of a television personality, and so far his greatest endeavour in life has been a fucking sock collection, that isn’t even

The real scandal was how he was able to get away with this for so long and the fact that it usually takes multiple victims before these types of allegations are taken seriously.